1. Your sleeve length is just plain wrong. Bunching around my elbows. Not good.
2. Your top front area above my boobage is not laying flat. I know you're supposed to have a tie front, but if I give you one, I'd have to put the tie up higher than I'd like it, which would make your neck opening smaller, which will make me feel like I'm choking even though I know it's not that tight because I just have a neck thing. (See? I'm out of breath just thinking about it. I think someone must have tried to strangle me in a previous life.)
3. You make me look . . . um . . . dumpy. You do. Don't even try to deny it. (Okay, I could possibly be slouching in the picture because I wasn't feeling the love, but you'd make me look dumpy even if I stood all perky and proud. You would. You know you would.)
You don't look bad when you're resting on the couch. Maybe you could just do that? Or maybe I could hang you on the wall. You could be art.
Maybe I can just wear you while I'm blogging, like I am right now. You're kind of comfortable, except that I'm really feeling you under my arms. And that bunchiness around my elbows . . . Not good.
Maybe we can just be friends.